And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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