so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
