my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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