**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
