We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize