Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
