It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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