i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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