I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
