So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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