You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
