I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
