omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
