Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
