Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
