when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
