Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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