i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
