Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
