we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
