Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize