after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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