The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
