First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize