My hair reeks of homosexuality.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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