stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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