i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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