i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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