He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
