swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
