either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
