I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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