she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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