Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
