How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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