As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
only you would photoshop your dick
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
