when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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