His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
