i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
