I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
