Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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