they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
