so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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