Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
