how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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