Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
