We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
