hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
