New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
