It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
