and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
okay pat passed out under dana's car
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
