hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
