worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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