You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
