yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
