Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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