i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize