My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
