idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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